How many Salts in your Coffee?…

Happy Tuesday!! How is everyone doing? I know, I suck. I missed out on all of last week. I did not post a single thing besides my podcast. In my defense we had a pretty late schedule and long days all week. Longer than usual on this particular show which was strange.  I had to make a choice between sleeping and writing these posts. I guess from my absence one can assume I chose sleeping. 9 times out of 10 I will choose sleeping. I enjoy writing these posts but I refuse to be tired in the sake of them getting written. I did however begin 2 different posts on Tue and Fri so those should be on here in the coming weeks once I finish them as they are already half way done. However today I thought up a new topic so let’s get into this shall we?

“Next time they ask you to get them a coffee or anything, just make it wrong…maybe add some salt to it or forget something.” This was the advice given to me by one of the coolest ADs I ever worked for one day years ago when they overheard a hair department employee that was just sitting in their chair ask me for a latte. I laughed at his suggestion at the moment and made the coffee correctly that day but I did not forget their lesson and knew I would use this amazing piece of wisdom later on because not only did it sound genius but they reassured me that they had done it multiple times with great results. They told me that when they had started out as a P.A when they were given food or drink orders from people who they felt could very well go get the stuff themselves but chose to be lazy instead they would purposely do something wrong. If it was a personally ordered coffee with say milk and 3 sugars they’d forget the milk. If it was a scramble with mushrooms, onions and bacon on the side, they’d forget the bacon. They told me that it would usually take 2-3 wrong orders before the person just stopped asking and started getting it themselves but that the technique had never failed them. You know what? They were absolutely correct! I tried this a few months down the line and it worked like a charm.

Now let me be straightforward here and let you know that I don’t believe that there is anyone on any crew anywhere that is never in a position to go get their own snacks or beverage because I know for a fact that all these people have to go to the bathroom at some point hence they have to leave set. People will try very hard to defend against this way of thinking. Especially people in departments like Camera that continuously claim “We can’t get away.” If you can leave set to poop then you can go make a Fucking latte. That funny enough will probably be the cause of your needing to poop again later on. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind getting someone stuff. I definitely know that while everyone does have a moment to get away from time to time they may miss their window to go get say the daily snack that is put out every 3 hours. However if you’re just asking for a coffee or some fucking gum from crafty I’ve been in this business for a while so I know how to tell the difference between someone who is really not free to get away and needs some assistance and just the person that doesn’t want to go and is just asking to be lazy. Also, now that I’m thinking about it I actually will say that there is indeed a position in this industry in which a person can’t go get their own snacks and beverages for long stints of time. There is one position that people are put in where they need constant snack support. I would never want to do this task on a show because I think I would one, probably pass out because I get extremely sleepy when I’m alone and sitting (I’m old) and two I have to go to the bathroom regularly. The position I’m talking about is the unlucky person that has to go up in cranes to man lights for a couple of hours. These people are Fucking soldiers! Because not only do they go up in these cranes and hang out up there in all types of crap weather and terrible conditions with just snacks and themselves to get them through the time. They also have to take a bottle or can with them so they can pee. Can you imagine going to a 30 dollar an hour job and then having to pee in a bottle? As they say “Living the Dream.”  One would think we would have devised a better way to do this but no. I have no idea what they do if they need to go 10-2 and quite honestly I don’t want to know. However besides these unfortunate people personally I feel everyone has a few minutes here and there to get whatever they want without the assistance of someone else. Bottom line is don’t be a lazy turd, if you have time to go get whatever it is you want don’t try to get some else to do it for you. Move your ass!

Thanks for stopping by and checking out another post here at We’re Not Rolling. I appreciate you spending some time here reading my madness. I wish you all a great week. Don’t forget to check out my weekly Podcast every Monday right here on the site and make sure to stop by on Friday for another post before the weekend.

-PEACE

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